Hope raised her daughter in the broken environment of drugs and survival street sex, and now her daughter was doing the same.
Written by Alice Plug-Buist, Executive Director of Helping Hands Street Mission
A memory wall honours friends at the Helping Hands Street Mission. When we share our broken stories with each other, the possibility of change opens up, Alice Plug-Buist writes. Cathie Coward/ The Hamilton Spectator file photo.
Mayor Andrea Horwath shared on social media that Hamilton is honouring women’s history this month.
“From grassroots organizers to trail-blazing professionals, women have shaped our communities in powerful ways. Let’s celebrate the stories, struggles and successes of women — past and present — who continue to inspire change every day.”
I’ve been thinking of a woman named Hope. She died about four years ago. I had seen her out and about over the years, but one afternoon we sat and had a conversation that inspired me to lead a small step toward change.
Hope was involved in the street-level, survival sex industry in Hamilton for many years. When I met her, she was too old to work any longer, but her daughter was deep in the “industry.”
Hope shared with me, with tears streaming down her face, that she had just visited her pregnant daughter the evening before. While Hope visited, her daughter pulled out the supplies needed to use drugs. Hope cried to me that she tried to get her to stop, to put it away, to think about her baby.
“It’s a vicious circle. It’s what I did to her, and now she’s doing it to her baby. I want to stop the circle, but I don’t know how.”
Hope raised her daughter in the broken environment of drugs and survival street sex, and now her daughter was doing the same. Hope’s heart was breaking for her daughter and her granddaughter, and she didn’t have a clue how she could stop that vicious cycle.
As I listened to Hope weep, I knew that she loved her daughter and her granddaughter, just as I love my daughters and will love my granddaughters. Due to the ramifications of generational trauma and poverty, Hope, her daughter and her granddaughter simply didn’t have a fighting chance.
This Women’s History Month, I’m not celebrating Hope’s story or her struggle, but I am celebrating Hope. She was brave enough to share her grief with another woman. When we share our broken stories with each other, the possibility of change opens up. I have not changed the world since Hope poured out her story to me, but I have been able to help to start change — change that starts with community.
At Helping Hands Street Mission, we are open from 1 a.m. to 6 a.m. every Saturday morning. Only women are invited into our doors at that time of night. What happens in our lit-up building when the streets are dark does not seem world-changing — we have a cup of coffee and a sandwich together, we rifle through makeup donations and paint our nails, we listen to each other and pray for each other.
Inspired by friends such as Hope, we are taking steps toward change. Through the creation of community, we offer glimpses of hope and we begin to stop that vicious circle together.
Join us in honour of Hope, to help stop vicious circles of brokenness for daughters and granddaughters like hers. Register for Gather for Good on Nov. 15 via https://revenue-can.keela.co/gather-for-good or donate at hhsmhamilton.com/donate/.
Originally posted the The Hamilton Spectator
